Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
