Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
