he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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