What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
