no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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