was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
