i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
