I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
