i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize