Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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