im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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