Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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