I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I cockslap morals
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
