At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
