That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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