Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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