I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize