'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
