I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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