OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
