Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
