upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
