Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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