Please, let me fuck your mom
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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