it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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