I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
