I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm bleeding and have questions
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
