you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
