But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
