i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
