im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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