she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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