I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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