Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
