That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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