Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize