Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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