I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
