ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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