As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
