: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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