sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize