I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
