I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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