I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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