I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Randomize
