Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
