Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
