I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
