Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My penis needs a shock collar
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize