i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
