Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
