I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
