I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
