You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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