Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Randomize
