when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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