my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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