I want to make a zoo with you.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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