god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
