do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize