It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
