I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
