i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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