He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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